Harrison is here!

Harrison is here! Obviously, based on the number of photos I’ve been posting to Facebook.

Harrison Lincoln Spurrier arrived on April 8^th, 2015 at 8:16am via scheduled c-section. He was 7 pounds, 12.5 oz and 20 inches long. Perfect little baby!

The c-section was relatively uneventful. The only glitch was that Harrison had been head down for weeks so I guess no one bothered to check him before starting the procedure. He had moved to transverse (sideways) so delivery took a bit longer and mom and baby ended up a little bruised, but all was well in the end. I felt better as soon as I heard him cry, and while I was being stitched up John held him so we could both talk to him and give him kisses.

Then he gave us a couple of scares…little stinker...

On our first night in the hospital someone decided they should check Harrison’s blood sugar. It was low, but went up after he ate. Then they checked it again at his next feeding and it was low, but got even lower after he ate. They moved him up to the Special Care Nursery, which is not quite the NICU but gives more attention. Cue emotional breakdown for me. I still wasn't allowed out of bed, so I had to hand off my baby to be taken somewhere I couldn't get to and I was not happy about it. However, once he was in the Special Care Nursery all of his tests were just fine. The pediatrician said another baby had weird glucose levels that night as well, so his assumption is that the testing machine on our floor was off (even though that’s the first thing I asked the nurse and she insisted that wasn't possible). So Harrison was back in my room a few hours later and I was happy. Actually, he was released at about 2am, right after John fell asleep in Harrison’s room and I had taken a couple of Percocets in my room. So after all my tears when he was taken away, I ended up asking them to keep him a couple extra hours until John woke up. Sometimes moms and dads just need to sleep!

About a week later we went into the pediatrician’s office because Harrison was squeaking a lot while eating. There’s no other way to describe the noise, he just squeaks sometimes. The doctor said he has laryngomalacia, which means he has come floppy tissue above his vocal cords. No big deal, he should grow out of it. However, when John put Harrison in his car seat Harrison had what they call an ALTE (Apparent Life Threatening Event). He had some reflux, milk came out his nose, and he choked and turned blue. The pediatrician turned him on his tummy and gave him a few pats and Harrison was just fine, but the event bought us a one night stay at Children’s for monitoring. Lovely.

Harrison was absolutely fine all night, and has been fine since. But I will say spending the night at Children’s was awful. We were kind of ok at first, we were too worried about Harrison to think of much else. Then they brought me my parent badge. Same photo my badge for Lincoln had, same lanyard, same everything. Which turned into a pretty big grief trigger for me. Then we moved into the room we stayed in overnight and it was just surreal. The room looked like all the other rooms…just like Lincoln’s rooms. I hated every minute of it. I hated the resident who asked how old our first son was, even though I KNOW he had been told Lincoln passed away IN THAT VERY SAME HOSPITAL less than a year ago. I know this because the other resident in the room stopped him and told me they had just been told. I hated him even more when he asked if I remembered Lincoln’s birth date, as if Lincoln’s passing could have potentially made me forget the date my child was born. Idiot. I wish punching people was socially acceptable.

But we were home the next day, and that’s what matters. And I’ve gotten side tracked…back to Harrison…

Harrison has since seen the cardiologist for an echocardiogram as a precaution. The cardiologist told us to go away and not come back. Those were his actual instructions. Yay! We haven’t done liver or kidney blood work yet, we’re going to wait another week or so, but there is no reason to think there are any issues there. Again, just a precaution.

We’ve also seen orthopedics for Harrison’s club feet. That doctor wants him to put on a little more weight before casting starts, so we’re set with a first casting date of May 4^th. She expects the casting along with a tendon cutting at the end of the casting process will be enough to correct the club foot. The casting will turn his feet forward instead of in, and the tendon cutting will then allow his feet to point straight ahead instead of down. We’ll have a better idea of long the casting will take once we’re a few weeks in. I’ll update and explain more once the process starts.

So that’s where we’re at. We’re enjoying snuggles with this little guy. It is wonderful having him here, and my fear that I wouldn't love him enough is gone. He’s brought baby happiness back to the house. He’s also made me miss Lincoln even more. I didn't think that was possible. But Harrison has reminded me of all we are missing with Lincoln. I know some people might think “but at least you have another baby to love”. Yea…call me selfish, but I’d prefer to have both my babies. That’s something I know I’ll have to work through and come to terms with. For now I’m just trying to be kind to myself and acknowledge that this isn't an easy process. But I couldn't be happier with our decision to have Harrison, and I love him so much. I’m going to go smooch him now!

A Harrison update

Quick Harrison update…I’m still pregnant. Ugh! I’m very ready to meet this little guy but he is taking his sweet time. Which is actually probably a good thing. The longer he waits the more my fears turn into just being ready for him to get here. But it’s been long enough and I’m ready now, any time little guy…

Since it’s looking unlikely Harrison’s going to make his arrival in the next 14 hours, John and I will be heading into the hospital tomorrow morning at 5:15am for our scheduled c-section, which will take place at 7:30am (assuming they’re running on time, ha!). If Harrison came on his own we would have tried to avoid the c-section this time but since I've had a previous c-section the doctors don’t want to try an induction and don’t want Harrison going too far past his due date. I’m not exactly thrilled about surgery, but whatever gets this little guy in my arms works just fine for me.

The doctors don’t expect any medical issues so this should be a routine birth. Harrison will be checked by a hospital pediatrician once he’s born, which is standard, and then he’ll go to dad while they’re finishing up with my c-section. Harrison’s pediatrician will also come to the hospital to check him out within a couple of days, which is very reassuring for me. He saw us through each step of Lincoln’s diagnosis so he knows exactly what to look for. He told us Harrison will probably have a few more blood draws than he’d like, but hopefully they all show that Harrison’s heart, liver and kidneys are perfect.

The only slight glitch is that they’ll also be taking a close look at Harrison’s feet. We found out he has two club feet. John and I didn't actually know what that meant before the diagnosis. It means his feet are turned in...sit with your legs straight in front of you and then picture the soles of your feet being turned so they would touch when you put your legs together and that gives you the idea. It shouldn't be a big deal at all and will hopefully be correctable with casting. Harrison will get casts on his legs and feet when he’s between 1-2 weeks old. The casts will be changed each week to slowly turn his feet to the correct position. The process will hopefully take only 8-12 weeks but will depend on how his feet react. After that he’ll wear a brace that looks like a snowboard, but that allows his feet to turn and move. The length of time he’s in the brace will also depend on how his feet react.

I’m not going to lie, John and I were sad and angry when we found out. Obviously club foot is nothing compared to the myriad of other problems Harrison could have. Trust me, we’re painfully aware of that. But we feel we put in our time at Cincinnati Children’s. We've paid our dues with doctor’s appointments. However, we also realize we asked Lincoln to pick out his little brother. And everything we've read about club foot tells us the success of treatment is highly dependent on parents sticking with it and being consistent. So the way we figure it happened is that Lincoln knew Harrison was worried about his feet and knew his parents wouldn't take breaks from treatment. So Lincoln sent Harrison our way, and we’re definitely ok with that.

The good news is that Harrison doesn't appear to have any other health problems. Club foot can be associated with neurological disorders and some pretty bad chromosomal abnormalities but it doesn't look like Harrison has any of those. And the doctors say they think Harrison’s club feet are malformations as opposed to deformations. This means the bones in his feet look properly formed, just turned incorrectly, which should make treatment easier.

So that’s what we have going on. Just waiting to meet our sweet little rainbow baby boy. Very impatiently waiting. I have big plans to give him more kisses than he knows what to do with. We can’t wait to introduce him to everyone tomorrow!!