Harrison is here!

Harrison is here! Obviously, based on the number of photos I’ve been posting to Facebook.

Harrison Lincoln Spurrier arrived on April 8^th, 2015 at 8:16am via scheduled c-section. He was 7 pounds, 12.5 oz and 20 inches long. Perfect little baby!

The c-section was relatively uneventful. The only glitch was that Harrison had been head down for weeks so I guess no one bothered to check him before starting the procedure. He had moved to transverse (sideways) so delivery took a bit longer and mom and baby ended up a little bruised, but all was well in the end. I felt better as soon as I heard him cry, and while I was being stitched up John held him so we could both talk to him and give him kisses.

Then he gave us a couple of scares…little stinker...

On our first night in the hospital someone decided they should check Harrison’s blood sugar. It was low, but went up after he ate. Then they checked it again at his next feeding and it was low, but got even lower after he ate. They moved him up to the Special Care Nursery, which is not quite the NICU but gives more attention. Cue emotional breakdown for me. I still wasn't allowed out of bed, so I had to hand off my baby to be taken somewhere I couldn't get to and I was not happy about it. However, once he was in the Special Care Nursery all of his tests were just fine. The pediatrician said another baby had weird glucose levels that night as well, so his assumption is that the testing machine on our floor was off (even though that’s the first thing I asked the nurse and she insisted that wasn't possible). So Harrison was back in my room a few hours later and I was happy. Actually, he was released at about 2am, right after John fell asleep in Harrison’s room and I had taken a couple of Percocets in my room. So after all my tears when he was taken away, I ended up asking them to keep him a couple extra hours until John woke up. Sometimes moms and dads just need to sleep!

About a week later we went into the pediatrician’s office because Harrison was squeaking a lot while eating. There’s no other way to describe the noise, he just squeaks sometimes. The doctor said he has laryngomalacia, which means he has come floppy tissue above his vocal cords. No big deal, he should grow out of it. However, when John put Harrison in his car seat Harrison had what they call an ALTE (Apparent Life Threatening Event). He had some reflux, milk came out his nose, and he choked and turned blue. The pediatrician turned him on his tummy and gave him a few pats and Harrison was just fine, but the event bought us a one night stay at Children’s for monitoring. Lovely.

Harrison was absolutely fine all night, and has been fine since. But I will say spending the night at Children’s was awful. We were kind of ok at first, we were too worried about Harrison to think of much else. Then they brought me my parent badge. Same photo my badge for Lincoln had, same lanyard, same everything. Which turned into a pretty big grief trigger for me. Then we moved into the room we stayed in overnight and it was just surreal. The room looked like all the other rooms…just like Lincoln’s rooms. I hated every minute of it. I hated the resident who asked how old our first son was, even though I KNOW he had been told Lincoln passed away IN THAT VERY SAME HOSPITAL less than a year ago. I know this because the other resident in the room stopped him and told me they had just been told. I hated him even more when he asked if I remembered Lincoln’s birth date, as if Lincoln’s passing could have potentially made me forget the date my child was born. Idiot. I wish punching people was socially acceptable.

But we were home the next day, and that’s what matters. And I’ve gotten side tracked…back to Harrison…

Harrison has since seen the cardiologist for an echocardiogram as a precaution. The cardiologist told us to go away and not come back. Those were his actual instructions. Yay! We haven’t done liver or kidney blood work yet, we’re going to wait another week or so, but there is no reason to think there are any issues there. Again, just a precaution.

We’ve also seen orthopedics for Harrison’s club feet. That doctor wants him to put on a little more weight before casting starts, so we’re set with a first casting date of May 4^th. She expects the casting along with a tendon cutting at the end of the casting process will be enough to correct the club foot. The casting will turn his feet forward instead of in, and the tendon cutting will then allow his feet to point straight ahead instead of down. We’ll have a better idea of long the casting will take once we’re a few weeks in. I’ll update and explain more once the process starts.

So that’s where we’re at. We’re enjoying snuggles with this little guy. It is wonderful having him here, and my fear that I wouldn't love him enough is gone. He’s brought baby happiness back to the house. He’s also made me miss Lincoln even more. I didn't think that was possible. But Harrison has reminded me of all we are missing with Lincoln. I know some people might think “but at least you have another baby to love”. Yea…call me selfish, but I’d prefer to have both my babies. That’s something I know I’ll have to work through and come to terms with. For now I’m just trying to be kind to myself and acknowledge that this isn't an easy process. But I couldn't be happier with our decision to have Harrison, and I love him so much. I’m going to go smooch him now!